:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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