Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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