my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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