eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize