your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize