dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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