Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize