Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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