Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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