You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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