it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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