I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize