we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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