Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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