It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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