Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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