I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
