508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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