All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
