This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize