Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize