I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize