I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize