in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize