weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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