Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize