we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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