im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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