we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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