he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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