Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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