I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize