Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize