so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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