I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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