So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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