A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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