you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWWâ€
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