I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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