it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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