Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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