I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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