Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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