My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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