it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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