How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize