ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize