Say something about gay babies.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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