you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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