I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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