some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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