I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize